all too often...hm, no...
sometimes..
I feel scared to be myself
I ask why am i thinking the things i do  
whats really going on? is there a big picture here or is it really just day to day

life's moments

If You Could See Me Now

I WANT ONE!!! :)

Your softly spoken words

Release my whole desire

Undenied

Totally

And so bare is my heart, I can't hide

And so where does my heart, belong

Beneath your tender touch

My senses can't divide

Ohh so strong

My desire

For so bare is my heart, I can't hide

And so where does my heart, belong

Now that I've found you

And seen behind those eyes

How can I

Carry on

For so bare is my heart, I can't hide

And so where does my heart, belong

Belong

Belong

Belong

I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being

microcosmos/macrocosmos, genotype/fenotyp, brain cell/universe, I see fractals all over :)

that's freeking awesome.....I thought that before when I was tripping :)

We are an infinite reflection of the universe. 

Actually we are made up of the contents that are in the universe, and that is why we long for it. The matter in us consciously recognizes where it came from. That is where the sensation of oneness comes from. "We are all star stuff." -Carl Sagan

bad dreams

I'm just tired. I'm tired of waking up to the same routine everyday, seeing the same people, it's getting old. I'm tired of waking up alone and cold. Pushing myself to get out of bed. "I'm just tired". That's my excuse.

what I think?

hahaha

 

Alan Watts - Life is a Hoax

message-ID:

Hello

It’s great to see you searching for the higher truth. I was (am) exactly pursuing the same question. I was standing at the point you are staying now.

I asked: Now I got everything I wished – got away from home, got my first job. But – is that all? There has to be more…

Is there more to explore?

It led me to experimenting with psychedelic drugs. MDMA, LSD, DMT are good examples. They show and prove us there is more to see than _this_ reality.

But – I was searching on. Who am I really? What is my purpose? Where did humanity come from? Where do we go? Why do we exist? Is there a sense of life?

I was looking for books in the esoteric library. Months. Years.

It was a straying around.

Yes, I found some information. There are many useful books – but also just much crap.

My search didn’t have a concept; a … training, a plan. Something to proceed, something REALLY deep and meaningful to achieve.

I was looking for things that show me more of the world. I was looking for information that you can’t get by buying a book.

This hunger for more lead my to western mystery schools. I joined A.M.O.R.C – a rosicrucian school that studies the hidden laws of life and the universe. http://www.qwiki.com/q/Ancient_Mystical_Order_Rosae_Crucis

Half a year after, I joined B.O.T.A. – a cabbalistic, hermetic order that has a great tarot and cabbala course. http://www.qwiki.com/q/Builders_of_the_Adytum

Two years after, I was invited by amorc to join the martinists order. And all I can tell you – it is a GREAT expansion to the teachings of the amorc. It really fills me out with “I found what I was looking for”.

This is not meant to be advertising. I just tell you what I’m doing and how excited I am to be a member in this organizations. It’s just a hint for you. Maybe you can join a freemason’s order and tell us how it is to be a member there – they hunt for similar questions.

Good starting points for me were http://sunfell.com/ and http://www.wegeinslicht.net/ (German)

I wish you all the best and good luck on your path!

We’ll see us at the end of the tunnel

I'd like to walk around in your mind someday
I'd like to walk all over the things you say to me

I'd like to run and jump on your solitude
I'd like to rearrange your attitude to me

You say you just want peace and you'd never hurt anyone
You see the end before the beginning has ever begun

I would disturb your easy tranquility
I'd turn away the sad impossibility of your smile

I'd sit there in the sun of the things I like about you
I'd sing my songs and find out just what they mean to you

But most of all I'd like you to be unaware
And I'd just wander away
Trailing palm leaves behind me,
So you don't even know that I've been there

yeeep! I simply adore this song and the video, of course! AMAZING!

Luna...de margarita es
Como tu luz
como tu voz
como tu amor

Frente a ti
el mar de las antillas
junto a mí, tu caricia sencilla

para vivir
para gozar
para soñar contigo

you ought to have known better...of course, I believe...for quite some time....and you have no idea!

sometimes i'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. the way iz stops and starts

- Poe

Crashing a light on the sea,
Reflections still look the same to me,
As if though I did one day.

And it's peaceful in the deep,
Feed you where you can not breathe,
No need to pray, no need to say 'now I am under'.

And it's breaking over me,
A thousand miles onto the sea bed,
I found the place to rest my head.

Never let me go..

And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,
And all this devotion was rushing over me,
And the question to heaven, for a sinner like me,
But the arms of the ocean delivered me.

Though, the pressure's hard to take,
It's the only way I can escape,
It seems a heavy choice to make,
Now I am under.

And it's over,
And I'm goin' under,
But i'm not givin' up!
I'm just givin' in.

Slipping underneath.

So cold, but so sweet.

In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold,
And all this devotion, well, I never knew went on,
And the question to heaven, for a sinner released,
But the arms of the ocean delivered me.

Never let me go, never let me go..

Delivered me.



So cold, but so sweet.

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

And our love is pastured such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues strong
But it's always darkest before the dawn

I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn

And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a final mess but it's left me so empty
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off...

Do what it takes to move on

[nah-mas-tay] sanskrit;
-my soul recognizes your soul, I honour the light, love, beauty, truth and kindness within you because it is there is no distance and no difference between us, we are the same, we are one.

Psychedelic Elephant garden

Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into hell, just to keep getting your fix.

Honestly
We shouldn't be
Here
We should be dancing
We should be friends
Celebrate our victory
All over
Maybe time will tell
Only time will tell
But I know
I don't need your love
I don't need your conscience
To base my life upon
Your cotton mouth and sores
Your blistered tongue will know
All and nothing
So please
Glad that you made it
So please
Glad that you called
So please
Is this what you wanted
After all (go home)

Joe Rogan and The Hall Of Presidents

amazing video this needs to be viewed by everyone

Such a lonely day,
and it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day,
should be banned
It's a day that I can't stand

The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day,
shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss
Such a lonely day,
and it's mine
The most loneliest day of my life

And if you go,
I wanna go with you
And if you die,
I wanna die with you
Take your hand and walk away
The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day,
and its mine
It's the day that I'm glad I survived

"The infinite vibratory levels, the dimensions of interconnectedness are without end. There is nothing independent. All beings and things are residents in your awareness."

- Alex Grey

  

The Westminster Dog Show... On Acid! :) <- click here

very funny....

sometimes I don't feel like continuing to live.

I don't want to kill myself, I just want it all to stop or go away. I want to be calm. I want to be happy again.

This looked way more 3-dimensional last night.

If I adore You out of fear of Hell, burn me in Hell!

If I adore you out of desire for Paradise,

Lock me out of Paradise.

But if I adore you for Yourself alone,

Do not deny to me Your eternal beauty.

I'm the perfect combination of feral and go fuck yourself.

As I come down I am reintroduced to my ego which is so attached to concepts and feelings that ultimately shape my subjective reality.

You let go of everything, but somehow everything longs to be and finds its way back to existence.

Fight ignorance with compassion and understanding.
Whatever transpires you are still both learning.

Wherever you go, you're going to meet people you know,…… you know?

Check out this awesome annual art movement held in Hawaii. It was created by Jasper Wong. It really is all about being creative in the most positive ways. What is better than focusing our energies on creating through the arts be it visually, musically, and spiritually.

Every now and then I like to remind you that…

You are the most precious gift in this universe. I want to give you the only thing I truly have to offer, my love. I love you. Yes you, the one reading this. I accept you for exactly who you are in this very moment, thank you for being.

In love, for love.

I wish your mind were an ocean that I could swim and search the depths of and I wish your thoughts ran fluidly through my veins so that I could see maybe a third of the things you know.

valentines fucking day

 

 

I want a girl with lips like Morphine ;)

I sing this poem to you
On the other side I see
Shining waves glowing
It’s far away far away from me
I can it see there, I can see it there, hmmmm
The wind blows outside and I have no breath
I breathe again and know I’ll have to live
To forget my world is ending
I’ll have to live
I hear my heart beat
Fluttering in pain, missing
Something
Tears are coming to my eyes
I cry I cry
I cannot feel the warmth of the sun
I cannot hear the laughter
Choking with every thought I see the faces
I see them fall
My hands are tied as I wish
But no one comes
No one comes
Where are you? Where are you?
What will make me want live
What will make me want to love?
Tell me tell me
I sing this poem to you
On the other side I see
Shining waves glowing
It’s far away far away from me
I can see it there, I can see it there
I sing this poem to you to you
Is this mystery unfolding
As a wing floating
Something is coming true
The dream of an innocent child
Something is happening
Something is happening
Where are you?
What will make me live
What will make me love
Tell me

Dear future me,
I hope you take a look at yourself and get better from within. Progress always starts somewhere and you’ve been working your way up. I’m proud. Take some time off from the people you’ve been dealing with and get to know YOU a little better. Stay clean and sober and put yourself first. Don’t let people use you and walk all over you, say how you really feel and make sure to scream it. Don’t let shortcomings trap you and failures bring you down. If you are with someone, they better crawl over broken glass to prove to you that they deserve you. You are doing amazing so far, and all of these things you’ve been listening to. Find something that makes you smile regardless and please stick with it. Just be fucking happy, and at the rate you’re going….I have a feeling you’ll be there soon.

I’m so physically completely drained right now. Going on nothing.

Salvi Divinorum

I wish I could show you, when you're lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.

be empty of worrying.

Think of who created thought!

Why do you stay in prison

When the door is so wide open?

Letting go of your ego, is similar to a bungee jump. The closer you get to the edge, the scarier it gets. You don't know why, but you tremble with fear, the fear of letting go, of taking the plunge. Until that moment of release, the fear will grapple you the hardest. It is so easy, yet so difficult, but when you finally let go, all you hear is the wind in your ears, and the feeling of flying. The feeling, of absolute freedom.

What does perception mean to you?

"I smoke it because I enjoy it." - She gets to the point :)

I don’t understand why some people get upset when someone calls them weird or says that they’re different. All that means is that they’re different, a unique cosmic creation in this vast Universe. And what’s so bad about that again? NOTHING. And why do people say it to other’s like it’s a bad thing? Why do people want to be the same as everyone else? I don’t. I’m tired of clones and duplicates of the same exact things over and over and over again. Whether it be people, or music, or books or tv shows. Be different, be INDIVIDUALS, be weird for the sake of everything. We don’t need copies, we need unique individuals who aren’t afraid to admit they’re different or maybe even weird. And I’d admit it any day of the week. I’M WEIRD.

I feel much better

Take me to the mountains where I can sit high upon the top and watch down on all below

Where I can smell the wild flowers beneath my dirty bare feet grow,

And I can see a lake from afar, the birds are bathing in the glistening water beneath the rising sun

And I can dance with the swaying trees, slow dancing with the wind that blows along 

Take me to the mountains so I can feel the magick of nature in it’s divinity

Away from the city sky scrapers, cops and busy streets; a place I feel free.

S

The Power of Words

Ram Dass: Experiments In Truth

Please take the time to listen to this. you won’t regret it.

Symptoms of inner peace:

• A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.
• An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
• A loss of interest in judging other people.
• A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of other.
• A loss of interest in conflict.
• A loss of the ability to worry.
• Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
• Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
• An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

 

If you love something, give it away

"What’s alternative? What’s counterculture? What’s cool? Who knows? Who cares? If chasing cool is important to you, you’re an idiot! What can you say about people who wait to be told what to like, what to do and how to do it? It’s like apathy in action. In an insular situation, like college, where they actually reduce the input of ideas on some levels while they sell you on the idea that you’re actually getting more, and then you believe it in the end. It’s so easy. Most of the people who claim to be pursuing a higher education are just as much followers as those they look down on. I see lots of people come out of the systems—educational, social and business—thinking about nobody but themselves, but they’re still able to tell themselves that they’re basically OK, that they just reflect what’s around them. It just goes to show, if you work at it, you can justify anything. Look at the mediocrity and blatantly unacceptable stuff we do to each other and the planet. Look at what we accept in our lives by just saying it’s out of our control, we can’t do anything about it, and it’s not our fault. I’m not into ambition or salesmanship, we’re not some new trend. We never meant or tried to be cool, or be a “buzz” band. It never even entered our minds."

  Kurt Cobain 

Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.

wonderful Fiona Apple,

I tell you how I feel
But you don't care
I say tell me the truth
But you don't dare
You say love is a hell
You cannot bear
And I say gimme mine
Back and then go there
For all I care
I got my feet
On the ground
And I don't go to
Sleep to dream
You got your head
In the clouds
And you're not at
All what you seem
This mind, this body
And this voice cannot be
Stifled by your deviant ways
So don't forget what I told you
Don't come around
I got my own hell to raise

I have never been
So insulted in all my life
I could swallow the seas
To wash down all this pride
First you run like a fool
Just to be at my side
And now you run like a fool
But you just run to hide
And I can't abide

I got my feet
On the ground
And I don't go
To sleep to dream
You got your head
In the clouds and
You're not at all
What you seem
This mind, this body
And this voice cannot be
Stifled by your deviant ways
So don't forget what I told you
Don't come around
I got my own hell to raise

Don't make it a big deal
Don't be so sensitive
We're not playing
A game anymore
You don't have
To be so defensive
Don't you plead me your case
Don't bother to explain
Don't even show me your face
'Cause it's a crying shame
Just go back to the rock
From under which you came
Take the sorrow you gave
And all the stakes you claim
And don't forget the blame

I got my feet
On the ground
And I don't go
To sleep to dream
You got your head
In the clouds and
You're not at all
What you seem
This mind, this body
And this voice cannot be
Stifled by your deviant ways
So don't forget
What I told you
Don't come around
I got my own hell to raise

Alex Grey 2012